Dennis Rodman

How many people can pull off the piercings, tattoos and wedding dress combo? Only two people in the world: Christina Aguilera and Dennis Rodman.

But behind the living caricature The Worm has become is a genuine success. Forget that just weeks ago he fell on his ass drunk doing stunts on a high powered motor cycle outside a strip club. Cast his abismal attempt to tryout for NBA teams in late 2003, but then deciding to enter rehab (again) instead to the back of your mind.

Despite his crossdressing tendancies, drug fueled nights in jail and enough booze to get Norway drunk, Dennis Rodman is a genius. Possibly the greatest defensive player in living memory, the 7 time NBA rebound champion and multiple time former-Defensive MVP is probably the most laid back professional basketball player who ever lived.

Forget your Jason Kidd trying to be perfect role models for the youth of America. Stick your Tim Duncan having almost no life because he's supposed to be an icon to all these kids and live the American Dream. Dennis Rodman threw the American Dream away in much the same was Hunter S. Thompson smoked the American Dream away. Forget your jailbait Allen Iverson, your rapist Kobe Bryant, your pothead Portland Trailblazers. Rodman was the original badman of the NBA. He might not have made as many cheerleaders pregnant as Larry Bird but he could smoke the entire Blazers team under the table with one big fat Shaq-sized bong.

Dennis Rodman used to sweep floors until he found NBA success. Now he rolls joints and lives rock n' roll excess like we only wish we could. Think about it - would you say 'No' to Carmen Electra? Rodman didn't, just like he didn't say no to drugs, movies and WCW wrestling.

Every little kid wants to be a professional sportsman at some point. Or an actor, or a model, or a drug-fueled madman. The Worm did them all. So he he's no Christian Slater or Hulk Hogan. So he was a bit off-kilter. Hell, I'd wear a wedding dress if it bagged me Carmen Electra...

Rodman has just signed a deal with the ABA's Long Beach Jam in a bid to come back to the NBA, aged 42. Can the NBA's Dirtiest Player survive in the ABA until the NBA call him back up for a try-out? Hell, he has the talent, but first he has to stay off the drugs, avoid cracking his team-mate's skulls and get past David Stern, but if the five-time NBA playoff champion can stick it out until that day comes, he may find himself back on the Mavericks or the Bulls - if Karl Malone can still play at his age, The Worm sure as hell can.

- Rik H. Dammit