Idiots

Let's see how arrogant this article makes me sound eh? I can just see the hatemail now...

"y do u fink we r stoopd jus cos we tlk diffurenbt 2 yoo?!?!?! fckin prik"

And it's things like that which fuel my rage, my pure hatred of all of you chesnut-brained idiots who can't string together a fucking sentence. I don't claim to be perfect, and I wholly enjoy reading constructive criticism about myself and my views, but I will not under any circumstance give ANYBODY any respect whatsoever if they cannot first prove to me that they are intelligent enough to deserve it. It is incoherent ramblings like this which make the internet such a bloody nightmare. I enjoy coming on, perusing some forums, adding the odd few posts and writing my thoughts down, anticipating some stimulating replies, and what do I get? Angst-ridden little kids who cannot spell, cannot use whatever brainmatter was put there at birth, and doesn't even want to try to come accross as anything more than imbred morons.

But hey, I can't moan, for this is the internet, a place where everyone has the right to be who they want. Why? Can't we set up some sort of internet police force which systematically destroys the modems of any halfwit who trys to contest an arguement by writing such inane comments like "yeh, well u r a fag, hehehehehehe!!!111oneone" - BURN IN HELL, YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF SCUM.

I don't even know if this little rant has a point, I am just writing down what comes off of the top of my head, because already today I have encountered more than 10 people who fit the above description, and it really does drive my up the wall. But what takes the biscuit is, when they actually think that they are putting up a good arguement, they can't even comprehend that they are idiots, why not? Is it some sort of scientific experiment to see how our prehistoric bretherin thought and acted? If so -- stop, you've really gone to far.

But I am being too cruel to the internet, it's not just here, it's everywhere. I used to work in a shop, where prices were clearly marked on the items, and I used to have absolute idiots come up to me with conversations as follows.

Customer: Well, you don't look very busy.
Me: Well, the shop is empty madam, and I can't leave the till.
Customer: Well I must find you something to do the.

*Customer makes an annoying giggle, I clench fists*


Customer:
Tell me how much is this jar of coffee?"
Me: As you can see madam, it's £2.34, it says so on the jar.
Customer: Oh really?
Me: Yes madam, that big fucking orange label
Customer: Oh... Well Tesco do it at £2.31, can I have it for that?

*I grit my teeth, she looks genuinly positive that I am going to say yes.*


Me: As you can see madam, we are not tesco, we are the fucking Co-Op, if you would like coffee at 3 pence cheaper, please proceed to the bus stop, pay £4 for a return journey to Newton Abbot, and go to Tesco.
Customer: They'd never act like this at Sainsbury's... in fact I think that it's even cheaper there.
Me: Yes madam, but this is the Co-Op, not Tesco or any other shop, Co-Op as in Co-Operative, Co... Op.... Okay?
Customer: Okay, Okay... I'll buy it.
Me: Thank you, that'll be £2.34 please...

*She ponders for a second, I reach for a stale baguette.*

Customer: You know I swear I had my purse here somewhere, i'll just look.

*She empties her bag, a queue forms, I am the only one on checkout.*


Me: Madam, a queue is forming quite quickly.
Customer: Oh here it is, now much was it again?
Me: £2.34... please.
Customer: Oh silly me, I meant to get teabags, I won't be a moment... sorry dear.

*I whack her over the head with the baguette, and receive praise and admiration from the shop, she suffers a broken nose and dies... fucking good.*


Now the violence parts of that story were invented to make me more amused as I write this, but it's people like this that have ruined our once great nation, so I beg of you please... if you consider yourself stupid, kill yourself, painfully and preferably in public. If you fear that you or a member of your family may be an idiot, please contact me on foreverdrunk@msn.com at once, and I shall give you the once over... and a suitable method of suicide.

That is all.

Love and kisses,

- Luke