The Observatory - Grown Men Telling it How it is
Welcome to The Observatory, foremost purveyor of Right and Wrong. Listen wisely children, for we will school you well. Now get to class.

It's about bloody time part deux...
@ 22:51, 10th May
It is I, the graphics monkey here, telling you all that we have a new enter page up.... that you will have already seen yourself before you saw this post, making this information completely pointless... Hmmm, anyways, new layout coming soon!

It's about bloody time...
@ 10:22, 8th May
As I am awake at this ungodly hour, awaiting in despair the thought of working in a pub cooking for ungrateful little sods, I have decided to upload my first TWO articles exclusively for The Observatory. Well, I say exclusively, in actual fact i've recycled them twice for different websites, but hey, it's the thought that counts, right? Anyway, click on over to Hell to view the first two entries in my, 'What shouldn't exist series'.

10,000 hit Combo?
@ 18:15, 1st May
So this site started off on the 4th of May almost one year ago. We were fast approaching 10,000 hits and if it hadn't been for our hosts deleting us for a few months we'de have passed that mark long ago. Mark suggested we should do a dare of some kind, so I'm laying the hammer down. If we hit 10,000 by the 4th May 2005, we'll take up the best suggested dare sent in by the fans, and provide evidence of it. Walk down the street in a dress? Roll in mud? Whatever, you got it - if you can take us over the mark.
Hell, I even think that'll be so fun I'v uploaded a few animations and I'm gonna try get some other stuff for the site ASAP. And I want to encourage you all to send as many people as you can here to get us over 10,000 by then. I'll shame myself just to see Mark in a dress too. Make me proud.
Accept the challenge Mark?

Win a Free Hat!
@ 01:12, 29th April

Truly the prize to top all prizes; the Observatory is giving you, yes YOU the chance to win an amazing FREE hat. "Jumping Jesus, How may I get my hands on a free hat?" I hear you ask. Well it's simple, all you have to do is post 200 times* on the forum and a free hat will be winging its way to you.

* Not just for the first person to get to 300 posts as mentioned in the web monkey's newsletter earlier today
Posts must be relevant and not spam. Terms and Conditions apply. 1 Hat Per Household.

St. Georges Mu'fuggin Day, yo
@ , 13:53, 23rd April
Proving that The Observatory is still as topical as ever (see the most recent posts), we'd like to remind everyone that it's St. George's Day. Mother fucker killed a dragon with his bare hands or something; now that's a saint I can finally get on board with.
I do have one complaint about this day though. Georgie is the national saint of England, but do we celebrate it? Hell no. The only saint-celebrations we do are Santa Clause and St. Patrick. St. PATRICK?! Why does the world go mad with booze on the Irish day but not anyone else? World gone mad.
And on that note, happy St. George's Day.

National High Five Day
@ 23:50, 21st April
Hope you all made the most of national high 5 day today. Mine was going pretty well until about 3 hours ago when I managed to  high fived a pirate.
Check out Rik's artist's rendering of the aforementioned event:

I won't make that mistake again. Don't be deterred by my mishap though. Check this video  for some sweet ways to high five your mates. 3Mb of pure bandwidth sapping fun, just to piss off our server hosts.

Pope Idol
@ 11:15, 12th April
Well we finally did it - we saved the site after our genius hosts decided to erase everything in an effort to keep us on our toe. Nice one guys, great stuff.
But the best news of all is that we're back in time to give you up to date coverage of the Battle for Pope-dom, coming atcha live from Vatican City! That's right, on Pope John Paul II's death (or Papi J-P as I called him. We were like that, seriously) over 100 Cardinals enter a chamber of death to battle it out Battle Royale style. When the doors are opened in a few weeks only one man will remain, fat from the flesh of his victims, to dominate the Vatican for years to come. The signal that a winner is found will be white smoke rising to the sky, presumably from burning the old Pope. Smart money is on Cardinal Cadari "The Destroyer" De Venus.
In other news, new layout and much more content coming soon. Stay tuned and remember. Gambling is for fools unless you can win £5.38 on the Grand National like I did last week.

since 4th May 2004