Rik H. Dammit

 

Entrance Theme: "Comanche" - The Revels.
Superpower: Being able to turn into a Negro Black Man at will.
Fatality: Texas Heart Shot.
Have you ever taken a beating? Just the once, for queue-jumping when I was about 13. The guy behind me was not amused and pulled some Bruce Lee shit on me. Since then, Daddy fights dirty...

Have you ever had a near death experience: I once sliced off the tip of my thumb in a meat slicer at my first crummy job, before I found that The Observatory could pay my way through life. I lost a shitload of blood and my boss wouldn't take me to the hospital until I was almost unconscious because I had to help unpack frozen stuff. At least my thumb grew back so I could press Space bar between these words...

Have you ever hospitalised another human being? Once, when I was just yay-big; I was in an argument with my neighbour and friend-at-the-time Ryan. Our parents came out to try and "sort it" and as he was hanging onto his mum's leg, I came up behind him and savagely fish-hooked his right eye. I gouged my thumb so deep he was taken to hospital, bleeding from the face.
Observatory: 1 - Ryans: 0.

Sense of Humour: Toilet, Sarcasm, Irony and Parody.
Motto: "Don't do today what you can pay someone to do tomorrow. Just make sure you hit the deadline."

 

Favourite...

Tipple: Jack Daniels + Coke
Nipple: Brody Dalle
TV Show: Jackass, Dirty Sanchez, Friends
Movies: Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, BASEketball, Fight Club
Band: Rancid
Songs: "Escape from the A-Bomb House" - Less Than Jake; "When It All Goes Wrong Again" - Everclear; "Revolution Rock" - The Clash; "Coral Fang" - The Distillers; "Maxwell Murders" - Rancid

TV personality: "The Duke" David Dickinson

Writer: Hunter S. Thompson
Console: PlayStation2
Team: Sacramento Kings.
Computer Game: GTA Vice City, Final Fantasy VII, NBA 2k3
Food: 6" Meatball Sub with lettuce, onion and peppers and Honey Mustard please.
Most Treasured Possession: Bass guitar.

 

Pet Hate: Avoiding the question.

 

How would you like to go out: I'd want to be found in a hotel room that was trashed beyond all comprehension, wearing only a pair of shades, and surrounded by such massive amounts of drugs, alcohol and debauchery that the actual cause of death couldn't be determined.

 

Have you ever lost the respect of a friend? I once plotted for a few days with my fellow Observer, Mark, and almost killed a friendship. We bought a pair of handcuffs each before a night on the tiles and were supposed to get one of our friends (Lets call him "the Jew") at the end of the night and cuff his hands and feet for a few moments as a gag. Unfortunately we drunkenly flashed them, explained the plan to everyone but Jew, and at the end of the night Jew and Other Friend ran like crazy. He called in a drunken rage and after trying to fool his ass with French, I was forced to explain myself, using £7 of phone-credit to do so.

 

You would have to pay me £(Unspecified Amount) to do a porno because: although those chicks are hot as Satan’s Oven on BBQ-Day, I have a girlfriend, and “Hell Hath No Fury Like a Chick Enraged”.

 

Word: "Drink mate?"